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[ Oh. There she is. There's a moment and he picks up. ]

Of course I do. With all my heart, Ange.

[ There's a sad smile in his voice. ]

I've always loved you. And I always will.

.. you're too nice.

[ Despite the fact that she means it, there's almost a hint of scolding in her tone. It's not always a good thing, after all, even if it's something she admires about him at the same time. ]

How come you're not even a little bit mad at me..?

Well... it's hard for me to be mad at my adorable little sister.

[ Ehehe. ]

...and you didn't end up hurting anyone. You thought you were protecting people. We all do weird stuff when we're frightened. Especially when we're frightened for the people we love, I think. So that's why I can't hold it against you.

[ It'd be easy to shut up. To not say anything. It's not even like she'd be lying if she just casually reply to that - it'd just be her omitting information.

But.. it doesn't feel right, does it. ]

I did hurt someone.

[ It's a very soft confession, despite the fact that it's just the two of them talking over the Omnis anyway, without anyone else to overhear it. ]

Not directly, but.. Ruby mistook one of our friend's actions towards me. She thought I was being threatened, so.. she attacked her. [ Ange swallows. ] That's my fault. I'm to blame since I made Ruby believe that she was my furniture. That she had to protect me, no matter what.

...I see.

[ He takes a deep breath. What can he say to that? ]

...wouldn't Ruby have tried to protect you, though? Even without that? Maybe... not to the same extent, but she would've tried to stop someone from threatening you if she thought that's what was happening.

... yeah.

[ It's a slow answer, like Ange really has to think about everything here before speaking up again, not quite as quick as the usual. ]

I guess that's true. [ It's not like Ruby has never been protective of her before, after all. It's not like it's something that was entirely forced on the girl, if she thinks about it that way. ] But.. like you said, it wouldn't have been to the same extent, right? I really can't imagine Ruby hurting someone we both care about like that, and-- she's really upset now. Ruby is blaming herself, when she really should be blaming me instead, right?

Well, think about it this way - would you blame her in a similar situation? Or would you be feeling like you do now?

[ He's trying to give good advice! But it's tough. ]

[ Ange exhales. ]

It's not like I don't know what you're trying to get at.

[ She's used a similar strategy on other people before to get them to see similar things, after all. And Ange knows it can be effective in some cases-- but maybe a little less so when you already know where it's going before you really have time to think about it.

Or maybe when you just feel a little bit too guilty. ]

.. no. Of course I wouldn't blame her. [ She can at least give that answer.

If not just because she figures Battler already knows Ange would feel that way. ]

But I guess Ruby would still blame herself too, even if our roles were reversed. [ Maybe they're too similar in that regard. ]

[ Even if she knows what he's doing, maybe that'll be enough to talk her down a little. He sighs softly and his weight shifts on the other end, the rustle of cloth carrying a little as he settles. ]

Maybe. But there's no point in that, right? Feel guilty if you want. Do what you have to do to figure yourself out, Ange. But... don't wallow in it. Don't let that guilt eat you up.

[ He can't talk her out of it, probably. But he can at least provide a bit of a check on it. ]

You've got so much more to look forward to, after all.

You know I've always been bad at that, right?

[ She says it softly, but at least she's speaking.

Maybe exactly because this is one of those things that's the easiest to talk about with Battler. Someone who knows all the context of the mess from back home without her having to explain, especially compared to all the people she met here. The people who could only hear about it from her. ]

I guess it hasn't changed.. I'm still so bad at letting things go. I wish there was some way to just throw away all those thoughts I keep happening about what happened while I was corrupted. Especially since I--

[ She swallows, trying to hold back even more emotion. ]

I do want to move on.

[ That is a difference compared to before, at least. Back then Ange didn't want to move on from the past. Maybe it's exactly because she learned to move on from it here that she wants to try and move on from the guilt about the corruption episode too. ]

.. how do you do it, onii-chan?

[ It seems like he manages to deal with his own guilt from back home pretty well, after all. ]

...honestly... I don't know. Maybe it's because of my experience with dad and leaving and coming back.

[ He's being honest. The truth is, he's not the greatest at letting things go or just rolling with things. He spent a lot of time arguing with Beatrice, after all! He refused to let go of any of that! So... maybe this isn't advice he can give. ]

Out family has a lot going on. And if I tried to feel bad about all of it, I'd never get anything done, you know? And there's stuff I should feel bad about... and I do... but... I can't really live like that. You can't just stay wrapped up in it, because even if you've done something wrong... you can't try to fix it if you're stuck in that space. Does that make sense?

...

[ There's no answer, not at first. But it's not because Ange can't understand at all. It's more just that she's thinking about it really deeply before replying. ]

Yeah. I do think it makes sense. [ Even if it doesn't solve everything right away - it's a way of thinking about it that she might have to apply here as well. ] After all, I-- I have to take care of Ruby. I have to help her get better. And I can't fix that if I get stuck in my own thoughts instead.. You mean it like that, right?

Yeah, exactly. If you're just stuck beating yourself up and wallowing in it... you're going to miss what's really important.

I.. will try, then.

[ It's still said a little softly. It's hard to muster up full determination when she's still feeling so physically weak after everything, after all. And while she's still struggling with her emotions - if not just a little bit.

Still.. ]

Thank you, onii-chan. I feel like talking to you really helped. [ Because otherwise she would have done just that. Beating herself up, wallowing in those thoughts. ] Maybe you can visit sometime soon, if you have time..?

[ She'd like to see him, even if Ange sucks at saying as much with actual words. ]

Hey. Anytime.

[ He's happy to help. Really. Maybe even especially when she makes mistakes. ]

And yeah, I'll come by. It'll be nice to get back together.

IC Inbox - Deer Country

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